I really hate when people make the name of something "unique" by adding an 'e' to the end of one of the words.
Cilantro Grille. Mixed reviews from friends and family, but gave it a chance.
Bummer #1: This is a place with table service, so not ideal for a "grab lunch and chow down" situation.
Most popular item (self-reported) was the Chile Relleno burrito, which sounded awesome so that is what we both ordered, along with chips and guac.
Bummer #2: Soda comes in a can, so no refills, and it costs a dollar. ONE WHOLE AMERICAN DOLLAR.
The chips were good, seemed freshly made, and the guacamole was fine - a little under seasoned but also tasted fresh.
This place is trying to be fancier than any little restaurant in the basement of Alley Cat has the right to be. But it has a cute set-up, nice light, really not a bad place. Tiny though.
Our burritos arrived and were as described, melty cheese and good chile, salsa on the side. I found the beans and rice under seasoned as well, so the balance of flavor in mine was really off unless I mooshed everything together.
When we got our bill we just handed over the credit card, but when we went to sign the check said:
6.99
6.99
.79 (extra pico, which it does not state is extra anywhere on the menu)
.49 (sour cream)
1.00 (soda)
4.99 (chips and guac)
___________________________
27.01
o.O
I get 21.25, and with current FTC tax of 1.56 I get a final total of 22.81. Since we couldn't get her to come back to the table and needed to get back to work, we signed the check with no additional tip and told her what happened, thinking she could correct the transaction so she got the remainder as tip.
She got really pissy and said "Well that price was written down wrong, those are supposed to be 7.99! But whatever!" Then she crumpled the SIGNED CREDIT CARD SLIP and threw it.
So...
7.99
7.99
.79
.49
1.00
4.99
_______________________
23.25 + 1.71 = 24.96
See how we are still not at the real total we were charged on the card?
I went and checked the menu online and I see that the Chile Relleno burritos are actually 8.49.
SO...
24.25 + tax of 1.78 = 26.03
There is seriously no way to get to our charged amount with what we ate.
So that is a lot of bullshit, we were over charged by no less than a dollar, but possibly 4.00 more than what was WRITTEN DOWN, and when we mentioned it the waitress had a fit.
Sorry Cilantro Grille, your delicious green chiles will not draw me back.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Walleye and such.
So last night I finally made it out to the Coopersmith's Walleye Fish Fry *all you can eat*!
It was pretty great.
I think they much improved their breading over what I last remembered. It is a nice crispy cornmeal breading that is not too thick. The fish was cooked well and tasted great. You get four nice sized pieces to start, and if you skip the sides you will have room to get however many additional pieces you think you can cram in your face. They will not give you a box, so order realistically.
You can get more of any of the sides, as well, but WHY?
I don't think I mentioned in the last post that it comes with Coops pub chips - thick cut fries which are pretty good.
The slaw was a little better than I remembered, but still needs a little more pep - I added some of the malt vinegar and it tasted better.
The beans are regular old pork and beans and yes, they contain pork if you avoid that kind of thing.
Tartar sauce... meh. It wasn't remarkable, but at least it was "normal" and not something weird like they have some places. Adding some malt vinegar to this was helpful as well. (I wouldn't put malt vinegar directly on this fish.... it doesn't seem to 'go' with the flavor.)
I honestly didn't even look at the rye bread. I am sure it was lovely, but I needed room for more FISH.
So there it is, next Wednesday is the last day until next year so hit it while you can. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Stay tuned through the next month for Great Plates rantings sprinkled with constructions woes! Yay!
It was pretty great.
I think they much improved their breading over what I last remembered. It is a nice crispy cornmeal breading that is not too thick. The fish was cooked well and tasted great. You get four nice sized pieces to start, and if you skip the sides you will have room to get however many additional pieces you think you can cram in your face. They will not give you a box, so order realistically.
You can get more of any of the sides, as well, but WHY?
I don't think I mentioned in the last post that it comes with Coops pub chips - thick cut fries which are pretty good.
The slaw was a little better than I remembered, but still needs a little more pep - I added some of the malt vinegar and it tasted better.
The beans are regular old pork and beans and yes, they contain pork if you avoid that kind of thing.
Tartar sauce... meh. It wasn't remarkable, but at least it was "normal" and not something weird like they have some places. Adding some malt vinegar to this was helpful as well. (I wouldn't put malt vinegar directly on this fish.... it doesn't seem to 'go' with the flavor.)
I honestly didn't even look at the rye bread. I am sure it was lovely, but I needed room for more FISH.
So there it is, next Wednesday is the last day until next year so hit it while you can. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Stay tuned through the next month for Great Plates rantings sprinkled with constructions woes! Yay!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Bob bob bobbin' along.
After a failed attempt to eat at Black Eyed Pea (too many pinochle players and one lady giving us the SERIOUS stink-eye, also the fact that we stood there for more than 5 minutes and no one ever looked like they might come help us,) we made our way to Red Robin.
Since it was busy we had the choice of the "fancy red chairs" or a booth by the kitchen. My co-diner got to spend the whole meal watching a dude tear up bacon and open bags of their gross shredded lettuce because my ass didn't like the fancy upholstered dining experience. Give me a wide booth any day.
I always forget I really don't like this place. Unlimited steak fries is great...if you can get a refill.
All the burgers have too much going on. One has steak sauce, horseradish, AND Dijon mustard in addition to cheese and bacon. Holy overkill, Batman.
So I order the Prime Rib dip sandwich and one of their free refill lemonade things.
Side note: Why the fuck do they put cheese and onions on the french dip like EVERYWHERE in this town? (Probably all over the US now. It's like they don't want to have to list a Philly "cheesesteak" AND a French Dip, so they put them in one. See also: "We can't make a BLT, we have no turkey.")
I get the sandwich and it is mostly bread and pretty flavorless because they forgot the jus. The waiter was trying be nice and helpful but everything was off and ill timed and late.... ugh, just no good and I know it was busy because ti was a holiday but JFC* try to keep up, people.
Anyway, this fucking meal ended up costing over 30.00 for the two of us. What a load of shit. Plus they charged my credit card three times for weird amounts of money which added up to the final total.
So... well you know, pretty much fuck big chains like this.
* Jesus Fucking Christ
Since it was busy we had the choice of the "fancy red chairs" or a booth by the kitchen. My co-diner got to spend the whole meal watching a dude tear up bacon and open bags of their gross shredded lettuce because my ass didn't like the fancy upholstered dining experience. Give me a wide booth any day.
I always forget I really don't like this place. Unlimited steak fries is great...if you can get a refill.
All the burgers have too much going on. One has steak sauce, horseradish, AND Dijon mustard in addition to cheese and bacon. Holy overkill, Batman.
So I order the Prime Rib dip sandwich and one of their free refill lemonade things.
Side note: Why the fuck do they put cheese and onions on the french dip like EVERYWHERE in this town? (Probably all over the US now. It's like they don't want to have to list a Philly "cheesesteak" AND a French Dip, so they put them in one. See also: "We can't make a BLT, we have no turkey.")
I get the sandwich and it is mostly bread and pretty flavorless because they forgot the jus. The waiter was trying be nice and helpful but everything was off and ill timed and late.... ugh, just no good and I know it was busy because ti was a holiday but JFC* try to keep up, people.
Anyway, this fucking meal ended up costing over 30.00 for the two of us. What a load of shit. Plus they charged my credit card three times for weird amounts of money which added up to the final total.
So... well you know, pretty much fuck big chains like this.
* Jesus Fucking Christ
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Stupid lying bullshit.
Here is the MUCH CITED code of "food bloggers"
FOOD BLOG CODE OF ETHICS 2.0
- We understand that the moment we put anything up on the internet (a blog, restaurant reviews, recipes, videos, photography, and comments) we automatically become a publisher and therefore have the responsibility of a publisher.
- We accept the responsibilities that come with publishing. We will be accountable for our actions.
- We will be civil.
- We will be transparent. We will disclose gifts, comps, samples, and financial relationships with specific businesses if we write about them.
- We will not steal other people’s work. Other peoples’ content (writing, recipes, photos, video, illustrations) will not be taken or used without written or verbal consent from the creator of said material. If we use someone else’s material and change it for our own use (i.e. a recipe) we will give attribution to the original resource.
Whatever.
Do yourself a favor.
Remember these few things:
THIS IS THE INTERNET. The internet is full of shit. Use it as a guide, not the gospel truth.
FOOD BLOGS ARE OPINION. Opinions are like assholes, they are shitty. Just because you shit your opinion out onto the internet does not make you a 'restaurant critic.' ANYONE CAN DO THIS. Again, use it as a guide.
IF SOMEONE MAKES MONEY OFF WRITING OPINION ON THE INTERNET YOU SHOULD QUESTION IT. I am not talking about people employed by a news agency or other party to do that as their actual JOB. I am talking about people who write things like those mommy blogs and then suddenly you realize every blog about poopy diapers is sponsored by Pampers. Or they are forever hosting "giveaways" of branded products.
Once that happens an 'opinion' blog is not free to be whatever it wants. I don't care how "ethical" you are, as soon as you sell advertising your opinion is compromised.
So when you see an ad in this space, please stop reading this immediately. It means I have sold my soul and nothing I say means dick any more.
I comply with half the food blog code of ethics because I have no choice. I blog anonymously, so no one knows who I am. I am a secret shopper, I get no perks or gifts. Also, it is painfully clear that I am better at this than anyone else. THEY steal ideas from me. And yeah, I know you can fake posting dates, but stats don't lie.
Full disclosure: I stole the idea for this post from another food blog site. In fact I stole the whole idea for a food blog from other food blogs I have seen.
As for the other stuff... well if someone wants to sue me for damaging their business I will accept that and then write a book to make a shitton of money.
Another fun fact -- if you say things like "shit" and "fuck" a lot, people assume you are an idiot and over look all those punctuation and grammar mistakes.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Breakfast behind the Zion curtain.
"Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may be in Utah."
When I was six my mom made me wear a t-shirt that said that. Everyone laughed but me.
I was in Utah recently! I ate, drank, and made merry IN UTAH. The times they are a-changin'.
My sister took me to Karen's Cafe in Ogden. She said it was the best breakfast burrito ever. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The coffee is crap. Weak as water, as the young Mrs. Slocumb would say. The service was slow, even though it wasn't that busy and it seemed like there were plenty of staff.
The burrito was pretty fucking great. I chose the O'Brien potatoes on my sister recommendation. The burrito was large, smothered in green chili and melted cheese, served with a side of salsa and an extraneous extra tortilla. I loved it. I am not sure it was the best ever, but it was certainly worth enduring the coffee.
My sister ordered the biscuits and gravy. These were also delicious but they were served to her COLD. She asked them to heat it up and they couldn't even microwave it properly to an edible temperature. Which is sad because it was really good.
Here is my first food picture. I don't take pictures of my food normally, but I did this to make a friend jealous. Pictures for torture are okay.
This is the only place I ate out while I was there. Be thankful, or I am sure I would have some choice rantings about liquor and native Utahns.
When I was six my mom made me wear a t-shirt that said that. Everyone laughed but me.
I was in Utah recently! I ate, drank, and made merry IN UTAH. The times they are a-changin'.
My sister took me to Karen's Cafe in Ogden. She said it was the best breakfast burrito ever. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The coffee is crap. Weak as water, as the young Mrs. Slocumb would say. The service was slow, even though it wasn't that busy and it seemed like there were plenty of staff.
The burrito was pretty fucking great. I chose the O'Brien potatoes on my sister recommendation. The burrito was large, smothered in green chili and melted cheese, served with a side of salsa and an extraneous extra tortilla. I loved it. I am not sure it was the best ever, but it was certainly worth enduring the coffee.
My sister ordered the biscuits and gravy. These were also delicious but they were served to her COLD. She asked them to heat it up and they couldn't even microwave it properly to an edible temperature. Which is sad because it was really good.
This is the only place I ate out while I was there. Be thankful, or I am sure I would have some choice rantings about liquor and native Utahns.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Eat food, give food!
Put down those Bagels Bites, lazy bitches! Time for us to leave the house again!
I know it is a little early, but I wanted you to have time to find your "good sweatpants" for these awesome yearly events. I might buy some yoga pants to contain my belly in soft, cottony splendor.
THIS POST IS NOT SPONSORED BY ANYONE. I DO NOT GET PAID TO BRING YOU THESE AWESOME TIDBITS. I do it out of the goodness of my heart.
The fish is pretty good. The other stuff is nothing to write home about. If you love walleye, jump on this, because it is not really common around here.
After you stuff your face all month long, take a deep breath and burp down for:
How do I get it?
Show the fuck up and say you want the Great Plates deal. Be patient if it is the first couple of days, servers sometimes are not briefed properly. Helps to bring the flyer (print from website or from the paper.)
What do I get?
It varies from place to place. You might get a good deal on the normal fare (Rodizio, Coopersmith's), a special meal made just for Great Plates (Crown Pub, Sonny Lubick), or a deal on food for 2 - 4 (Big Al's, Spoons.)
Caveat Emptor: check out the regular price of the menu items first. Some deals are only a couple of dollars off so might not be worth your time, and some deals are only a "deal" if you drink alcohol (wine or beer usually.) The offerings change from year to year so read closely.
UPDATE 2/11/13: Check out the menu here!!
DID I MENTION IT BENEFITS THE FOOD BANK OF LARIMER COUNTY?
You may see envelopes at your table for additional donations. This is voluntary so feel free to use them liberally!!! PAY IT FORWARD, ASSHATS.
I know it is a little early, but I wanted you to have time to find your "good sweatpants" for these awesome yearly events. I might buy some yoga pants to contain my belly in soft, cottony splendor.
THIS POST IS NOT SPONSORED BY ANYONE. I DO NOT GET PAID TO BRING YOU THESE AWESOME TIDBITS. I do it out of the goodness of my heart.
Coopersmith's February Fish Fry 2013
February 6, 13, 20, 27
"Join us every Wednesday in February for our all you can eat Walleye Fish Fry.
(first week will be poolhall only, pubside closed for improvements)"
(first week will be poolhall only, pubside closed for improvements)"
"ALL
YOU CARE TO EAT deep fried walleye served with pub chips, baked beans,
cole slaw and rye bread. ONLY 15.95"
The fish is pretty good. The other stuff is nothing to write home about. If you love walleye, jump on this, because it is not really common around here.
After you stuff your face all month long, take a deep breath and burp down for:
March 1 - 14, 2013
What the hell is it?
35 Downtown restaurants offering meal specials for $25.00
Also $2.50 breakfast deals!
Example from last year -- Coops Pubside offered their NY Strip dinner with a pint for TWO PEOPLE for 25.00. AWESOME SHIT
Show the fuck up and say you want the Great Plates deal. Be patient if it is the first couple of days, servers sometimes are not briefed properly. Helps to bring the flyer (print from website or from the paper.)
What do I get?
It varies from place to place. You might get a good deal on the normal fare (Rodizio, Coopersmith's), a special meal made just for Great Plates (Crown Pub, Sonny Lubick), or a deal on food for 2 - 4 (Big Al's, Spoons.)
Caveat Emptor: check out the regular price of the menu items first. Some deals are only a couple of dollars off so might not be worth your time, and some deals are only a "deal" if you drink alcohol (wine or beer usually.) The offerings change from year to year so read closely.
UPDATE 2/11/13: Check out the menu here!!
DID I MENTION IT BENEFITS THE FOOD BANK OF LARIMER COUNTY?
You may see envelopes at your table for additional donations. This is voluntary so feel free to use them liberally!!! PAY IT FORWARD, ASSHATS.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Birthday shenanigans.
Some of our friends have a tradition to go to Pueblo Viejo for birthdays because they make you wear a sombrero (worn by thousands of other sweating revelers), sing to you loudly, and make you chug some terrible shot. SOUNDS ALLURING DOESN'T IT?
Well it is pretty funny for the rest of us and they can handle large groups so it works out well.
There were about 20 of us on a Tuesday night and my wife and I showed up a little late so we had almost no time to look at the menu. Which I found to be a blessing, because they have one of those menus that is way too big and you get bogged down in the myriad different ways to mix and match rellenos, enchiladas, and chimichangas.
I was under pressure so I picked all 3 in a combo. I had the beef chimi, chicken enchilada, and the crispy relleno. My wife had the cheese enchilada, steak, and the soft relleno.
Do yourself a favor. stay away from the crispy relleno. I have no idea if this is traditional anywhere, but it seems like it was invented for drunk college kids. It is just an eggroll of green chiles and cheese. Which is actually awesome... until you compare it with the soft relleno which is the traditional egg-battered giant poblano filled with jack cheese. It is seriously twice the size and deliciousness of the crispy one.
The beef is bogus. I don't know if they have shredded beef on anything since I didn't spend much time with the menu, but the beef I got in my chimichanga was fine ground beef in a heavy greasy red sauce, reminiscent of Taco Bell. The chicken enchilada was fine, the beans and rice pretty bland and average for a cheap Mexican restaurant.
My wife enjoyed her steak, it was cooked well and it was large.
Most people really enjoy the fajitas here, but the sheer number of dishes that meal involves turns me off, especially in a large crowd.
Margaritas -- my house marg was fine. Unexceptional but not disgusting.
One more fine thing. PV knows how to get shit done. Every person at the table of 20 ordered at the same time and all the food came out at the same time. It was awesome.
Well it is pretty funny for the rest of us and they can handle large groups so it works out well.
There were about 20 of us on a Tuesday night and my wife and I showed up a little late so we had almost no time to look at the menu. Which I found to be a blessing, because they have one of those menus that is way too big and you get bogged down in the myriad different ways to mix and match rellenos, enchiladas, and chimichangas.
I was under pressure so I picked all 3 in a combo. I had the beef chimi, chicken enchilada, and the crispy relleno. My wife had the cheese enchilada, steak, and the soft relleno.
Do yourself a favor. stay away from the crispy relleno. I have no idea if this is traditional anywhere, but it seems like it was invented for drunk college kids. It is just an eggroll of green chiles and cheese. Which is actually awesome... until you compare it with the soft relleno which is the traditional egg-battered giant poblano filled with jack cheese. It is seriously twice the size and deliciousness of the crispy one.
The beef is bogus. I don't know if they have shredded beef on anything since I didn't spend much time with the menu, but the beef I got in my chimichanga was fine ground beef in a heavy greasy red sauce, reminiscent of Taco Bell. The chicken enchilada was fine, the beans and rice pretty bland and average for a cheap Mexican restaurant.
My wife enjoyed her steak, it was cooked well and it was large.
Most people really enjoy the fajitas here, but the sheer number of dishes that meal involves turns me off, especially in a large crowd.
Margaritas -- my house marg was fine. Unexceptional but not disgusting.
One more fine thing. PV knows how to get shit done. Every person at the table of 20 ordered at the same time and all the food came out at the same time. It was awesome.
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